as Crews said himself.. there's no past.. no future.. just present.. being in the moment.. dear.. move on.. concentrate with the moment so you don't make that type of mistake again.. that type of mistakes that so many people made along the way and you're in no way an exception.. you're just another person.. as imperfect as any other person in the world and nobody can blame you for that.. that's just how's everybody built to be.. imperfection makes human.. we all can strive for perfection but expectation of oneself is only setting oneself up for disappointment..
it's been hard and all.. you have just moved away from the gutter for a little too long.. and you're not used to that.. you're not used to losing control, dwelling in pain, wallowing in blood anymore.. but that doesn't mean that staying at the bottom of the pit will ease the pain.. will help you get you used to the pain.. the only thing it might do you is numbing you.. do you want that.. are you ready to close yourself off from all those pleasures of the world in the same time.. there's only one way in.. you know that.. you can't pick what coming in.. be it pain or joy.. but you can choose to open or close the door.. and after so many years of closed in.. locked up in that little cell.. you finally found the courage to open the door to the light.. and you're going back in there again? it doesn't worth it.. pain.. as well as joy.. just comes and goes.. that's part of life.. feel it.. learn from it.. and let it go.. let it go.. let it go.. you don't have to understand here to be here.. baby.. again.. from Charlie.. it doesn't matter how much you want to pick apart your brain to see what's wrong.. what's upsetting you.. that make you dive head first to all those pain again.. it doesn't really matter too much... the feeling is here.. acknowledge it.. accept it.. and let it go.. it might linger.. it might fly away.. another wave might high.. it might be coming down.. fast.. but.. hey.. once you hit rock bottom.. the only way to go is up.. right?.. and even bad lately haven't been that bad.. all those work weren't all to waste.. it's ok.. everything will be ok.. and even if the bottom fell apart and you fall further.. so what.. free falling now and then can be a thrill, can't it.. it's ok.. baby.. it's ok.. everything will be fine.. everything is all right.. everything will be fine.. it's just a mistake.. people do it.. you're just another human babe.. you're a cute little human girl.. you made mistakes too.. and it's ok.. you're not in your best form.. so what.. it's just another day that's over.. now it's a new day.. and another chance to get things right.. do things properly.. or at least.. the best you can.. I know you can do it.. you can always do your best.. I have faith in you.. as well as Mister.. and Merlin.. and even Martin.. somewhere out there.. he's looking at some stars.. thinking about you.. believing in you.. that you're a good girl.. and it's ok.. you know they love you for who you are and it doesn't matter if you make a mistake or not.. you're still their love.. they're there.. Martin might not be there.. but he's always in your heart.. and you're always in his.. but Mister and Merlin are there.. on your bed.. whenever you want them.. they're there.. waiting for you.. waiting to comfort you.. give you a hug.. give you a sweet kiss.. as always.. that never change.. and it never will.. it's just another day.. it's just another mistake.. it doesn't worth fretting over.. it doesn't worth getting worked up over.. it's not productive.. if you think you linger enough.. the good thing about present is that.. you can snap your finger.. and then.. you have another present to play with.. you don't like what you have been doing.. good.. change it.. right here.. right now.. it's all in your hand.. for you to decide.. does it feel good to have control?... isn't it lovely..
I love you babe.. I always will.. and I think you're ok now.. just breath.. stay in the moment.. thinking of Charlie if that makes you smile.. finish up and go home to your lovely teddy if you want.. it's your night.. it's your life.. I love you babe.. and I'm always here if you want me.. so.. good night.. sleep tight... and don't let the bed bug bite.. my sunshine.. sweet dream
